Caregivers

To say we loved our mother would be so understated. We truly cherished her.

With us until she quietly passed away in late November 2020 just five weeks short of her 101st birthday, my three sisters and I, her grandchildren, her great-grandchildren, nieces and nephews stayed close to her until the day she passed.

In truth, she raised us to stay close. Always counting her chicks, it was not at all unusual for her to either call out our name or ask, “where’s Ginger, Cookie, Penny or Beth?” She was forever taking a roll call.

One day Mom could not recall what day it was. A bit later she could not remember how to tie her shoes. And even later, she complained that the house she had lived in and loved in for well over 40 years felt foreign, unfamiliar, and strange to her.

Mom was getting older and would need more attention, more care.

I have lived out of my hometown of Lansing, Michigan for over 45 years. Luckily my other sisters live in my hometown close to my mom’s house.

And luckier for us, our older sister already lived with my mom. So, when mom started showing signs of dementia, our sister, Cookie was there.

And as it turned out, she would stay there until my mom passed.

I came home once or twice a year with some of my visits lasting over a month. Beth lived only blocks away from the house, my oldest sister, a few blocks more, and my grown nephew and his family, moved into a rambling, spacious home, within walking distance of mom.

Together, we loved her, we paid attention to her, she was our focus.

And with all of that family love, there were times she wanted, she craved the attention of her outside caregivers, specifically one caregiver, Vickie.

Coming twice a week, five-hour shifts, mom would simply light up when it was, “Vickie day.”

Vickie was the medicine my mom often needed. A high extrovert by nature, my mom loved to talk and laugh with Vickie.

As Vickie came through the door, often carrying a large bouquet of garden-picked fresh flowers, or maybe a small pan of cinnamon rolls, she showed my mom such love, such respect.

Indeed, we all loved Vickie. Cookie and Vickie became very close, sharing cups of coffee, laughing and talking. I loved her too and always gave her a special gift before I’d leave Lansing for Austin. She was our rock. To a certain extent, she held our family of caregivers together. I don’t know if we could have done it without her. I think we all agree, we wouldn’t have wanted to try.

We want to send a heartfelt message of gratitude for the work that Caregivers do. The work takes a special kind of person. Caring, loving, patient, self-directed. You come into homes, hospitals, or other facilities and give care to those who cannot care for themselves.

And BTW, we know the official day to thank caregivers was a couple of months ago. But I know a sincere thank-you is always appreciated, always right on time.

And don’t be surprised if it comes up in other posts. It’s the least we can do.

Are you a caregiver? We’d love to hear from you.