A few days ago, I stopped into a health food store for a few things. Waiting my turn to pick up a grocery cart, I noticed the young woman ahead of me.
Dressed in a cream-colored, satin blouse with her hair pulled back, I decided she had just left her office and was stopping by the store to pick up dinner ingredients.
As I admired her outfit, I noticed something startling.
Her trousers. Forrest green in color, straight-leg. Everything was great. Until I noticed the trousers were so sheer, so transparent I could clearly see the silhouette of her underwear.
She was wearing a thong.
Would it be rude to say something? She’s a stranger to me, so should I just let it go? But in my made-up story, I had her coming home from the office. Shouldn’t I warn her of her “tiny” problem so she wouldn’t repeat it?
Confused and conflicted, I decided to say nothing, walk away and be about the business of finding my granola.
Now, on my way out of the store, I see another woman. As she’s walking toward me, I notice her hair.
Soooo cute, curly and a little grayer than my own (if that’s even possible.) She’s also sporting a pair of great oversized sunglasses. We’re so close now, we’re almost brushing shoulders. I smile and say, “I love your look. Your hair is great.” She replies through a smile, “thanks so much, and adds, “I just had it cut.”
Cheery and cheerful, I walk away, opening my bag of granola to nibble on the drive home.
Now, tell me, how is it that one situation can seem so simple (giving a compliment) and the other is steeped in complication?
From a smear of red lipstick on our teeth, to exposed panties (do you remember when it used to be our slip was showing?) to missing a button on our blouse and exposing our bra, who among us goes through life never experiencing one of these moments?
I think it’s time we started to confront these cringeworthy moments and support each other, woman-to-woman, sister-to-sister so we’ll all be fabulous while living our best life.
These “delicate” situations do take a little tact and consideration. We’re not LOOKING for a person with a problem. But when we notice a potentially embarrassing situation where we can save them from future awkwardness, it’s time to simply take her aside and with tact, understanding, and gentleness tell her what’s stealing her joy. And it goes without saying we’re there to help, so we’re discreet and nonjudgmental.
And then, of course, what she decides to do about her situation has nothing to do with us. Our heart was in the right place. We’re done.
COMPLIMENTS
Not much to add about compliments. We all love compliments. Your hair is cute, you nailed that speech, you’re a great mom, your dress is adorable, you’re chic, you’re fun, you’re creative, you’re simply a joy to be around. Who wouldn’t love that?
But when I was doing a little research to prepare to write this blog post, I found some interesting information on compliments I’d not considered before.
Compliments offer a sense of connection and community.
Whether the woman is a stranger or a best friend, there’s something about offering her a compliment that reinforces and increases intimacy, understanding and appreciation. The compliment need not be earth-shattering. It simply needs to be heartfelt.
These last two bits of information I first saw on The Every Girl site. I think both are worth sharing.
What we admire in others we can learn to foster in ourselves.
There are times what we notice and give compliment to others is something we value for ourselves but think we’ve either missed the mark or are incapable of reaching the mark.
It’s great to notice these things and compliment them in others. It’s also great, if it’s something you aspire to, to make the necessary changes in the direction of your desire. With effort and probably a little help, you too can have it.
You could make a new friend. You could learn a lot.
Women are naturally so social. Stop a woman and tell her you love her handbag and before you know it, you’re exchanging numbers and planning a coffee! Love it! Or one mention of that handbag and she’s telling you about a fabulous new shop or the best thrift in town!
So, I guess I’d say, in the grand scheme of things, both compliments and complicated, awkward conversations come from the same place. It’s a place of caring, noticing our fellow females and supporting each other with a kind heart and a genuine hand of friendship.
What could be better than that?
And as always, what do you think? Leave us a comment below.
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