Creating an Emotional Budget

The summer-long conversation concerning the weather is no longer relevant. Or at least it won’t be in a few weeks.

The kids (or probably grandkids) are back in school, no more talk of summer camp, outdoor swimming, or week-day trips to theme parks.

Soon (if it hasn’t happened already in your part of the country) swimsuits will be packed away with short skirts, sleeveless tops, sheer blouses, and anything that’s made of white linen.

We’re preparing for fall first and then the winter holidays.

I’m aware we’re just in the middle of the year. But personally, this upcoming season feels completely separated from Spring and Summer. It feels like a new year.

And a new year deserves its own budget.

I’m not really talking about a financial budget here, even though we all know how important that is. But my bet is that you’ve already put pen to paper so to speak around what your end-of-year financial responsibilities look like.

You’ve considered any repairs you’re going to make on the house. If you’re traveling to familiar places to see family, or you have a completely new destination in mind, you’re already weeks into the process of finding the best prices on airline tickets, lodging, and rental cars.

But let’s look at a different type of budgeting.

If you’re anything like us, every year we declare (right around this time of year) that there are things we’re NOT going to do during the fall and winter season. Things like going to annual gatherings out of obligation. Staying so busy we miss opportunities to help out at the church or take homemade cookies to an elderly neighbor. Or to simply make time to attend the local festivals and holiday markets that we love.

It’s usually not the financial budget that brings on so much frustration during the fall and winter holidays. It is more about woefully underestimating the budget of our physical and emotional time.

However, the wonderful thing about bringing something to our conscience mind is we now have the ability to correct the situation.

Little tweaks with our time can produce a big reward. Here are some ideas:

Cook seasonal meals: How about before the fast pace of the fall season is in full gear, you take advantage of the seasonal harvest at farmer’s markets, cook ahead, and stash meals in the freezer? Not only will you save money on dining out, but you’ll feel more in control because you’re putting healthy food on the table.

How about creating a time budget? This may seem a little obsessive. But just remember we feel overwhelmed because we have more activities than we have time for. A time and task budget can help us allocate time to the activities that matter the most. And remember to prioritize activities based on their importance to you.

Can you combine tasks? Instead of making a dozen cookies for the book group, how about making cookies for the whole season? Once again utilize the freezer to stash the cookies and you’re set for months. Do we have to buy Halloween candy close to the holiday? I say no. Tootsie Roll Pops are available all year long. Can we combine parties? What about introducing the book group women to the women from the gym? Would that work?

And then, of course, there’s our emotional budget. Here are some ideas:

Let’s start with emotional triggers. We start by identifying them. Becoming aware of the people, situations, or events that tend to drain us of our emotional energy or (heaven forbid) stimulate strong emotional responses. I think we all can tell stories about “strong emotional responses.” Not pretty. Let’s instead be proactive and manage our emotions to prevent meltdown.

Practice self-awareness. Know your emotional limits. Just like we know when it’s time to stop financial spending, it’s important we stay aware of emotional overspending.

Overspending emotionally can be worse than a late charge. If we stay aware of where we are emotionally, we have time to adjust our emotional budget.

Remember emotional energy is much like financial resources. Both are finite. There is an outer limit or a cap to our emotional energy. Let’s not test it. Instead, it’s far smarter (just like with our finances) to set boundaries, protecting our emotional well-being.

And finally, Prioritize self-care. Generously give to yourself. During this upcoming busy season remember the activities and interests that recharge and rejuvenate you. Activities and hobbies that nourish your well-being.

As with every blog post, with everything we do at TwoWomen, I hope this post helps and supports you.

It’s also true that with every blog post we write I learn something or have a personal insight. This post is no exception. So, while deciding on MY emotional budget, I’ll also set limits on my time, and stay mindful of my emotions.

Until next week, Take care