We grew up in a household that understood gratitude.
My grandfather, mother and father, and all the aunts gave us a daily lesson in being grateful. But I think it started with my grandfather.
Our grandfather was a Bible-carrying Pentecostal minister. The type that never lets you forget he was a Bible-carrying Pentecostal minister.
A striking man, well over 6 feet tall, with skin the color of nutmeg and eyes the color of a cloudy sky right before a rainstorm, he was a sight to behold. He transitioned at around 105 years old, after living a life of hard work, while never wavering from his beliefs. Widowed four times, he was a character not soon forgotten.
I think I can speak for the family, when I say, “Papa” left behind many funny stories (I’m not sure he thought the stories were funny, but we thought they were hilarious) along with a legacy of gratitude.
Woven into the fabric of our family was being grateful for our abundant blessings.
We are not an overly demonstrative family. We seem to rely on a subtle form of exhibiting most every emotion (except, perhaps laughter.) But from childhood we knew not to complain or in any way over dramatize disappointment. Instead, problem-solving was rewarded. Rationalizing unmet expectations was compensated.
And so, I’ve decided that my family background is the reason we don’t do overt gratitude very well.
If I had a dollar for every time I’ve tried to keep a gratitude journal, I’d be a very wealthy woman today.
Do people still keep gratitude journals? I think the concept was made popular by the wildly successful book by Sarah Ban Breathnach.
Originally published in 1996, Simple Abundance was the book of the year. It gave the many readers a place to write daily moments of gratitude while also offering insight through inspirational quotes.
I think it continues to be a popular concept in 2023. I noticed online that the original book was updated four years ago with the new title: The Simple Abundance Journal of Gratitude.
I love this whole concept of giving gratitude focused attention by using a journal and writing down at least five things we’re grateful for every day, it simply doesn’t work for me. It always comes out feeling forced and unnatural.
But I know Beth and I are sincerely grateful for all we have.
And so, I was happy to see, while doing the research for this blog post, that there’s TONS of research on the subject of gratitude. And while keeping a journal is mentioned and recommended in the research, living a life in gratitude is what’s ultimately important.
There was one article that stood out for me that divided gratitude into three stages:
Stage One: Feeling grateful for the good things in our lives. We feel grateful when something good has happened. For instance, escaping a threat like a disease diagnosis that turns out to be a false alarm. The Gratitude Journal comes in here to take this “moment of gratitude” and help to turn it into a full “attitude of gratitude” by consciously writing it down and celebrating it.
Stage Two: Expressing our gratitude to the people who have made our lives better. Actually, opening up and telling those people what a difference they have made in our lives.
According to the article, when you express gratitude to someone else, an emotional bond is formed, and emotional bonding is one of the key traits of truly happy people.
Stage Three: Based on the conscious gratitude for others who have helped us, we actually adopt new behaviors in our life. This one they say is powerful because it changes our futures. “When your gratitude leads to showing more sympathy, less judgement, and greater appreciation for life itself, you are setting the stage for years of positive reinforcement.”
In summary, it’s not just about keeping it in a journal.
The journal is merely a tool. A tool, that if it works for you, it’s great to continue the process of writing it down.
But what seems to be more important is actually living a life of gratitude, recognizing, and celebrating acts of kindness and grace in our everyday life.
Gratitude is a natural path to wholeness and good health that helps to reduce our everyday feelings of stress because it beautifully connects our mind, body, and spirit.
Love this for all of us.
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