Exercising with my partner has brought on some of the biggest arguments in our 30+ year history.
But isn’t this a blog post on the fun, the gaiety, the lighthearted joy of exercising with your partner, you ask?
Yes, it is.
But if you’re anything like my partner and me, finding the road to couples' fun took a minute. We had to set some rules, think about some boundaries, and ponder some preferences.
For instance, let’s say this partner and I start to do a simple (but usually long) walk on a Sunday afternoon.
Because I have completed my “real” exercise routine in the morning, I’m thinking this afternoon walk will be something that resembles a brisk stroll.
He, on the other hand, starts the walk at race day marathon pace. After retying his shoes, checking his water bottle and exercise watch, he’s ready to set a personal best.
He’s thinking PR, I’m thinking of what type of smoothie I’ll order at Whole Foods when we’re finished.
By mile two, he’s broken a proper sweat. I’m somewhere behind him, pretty much screaming about both pace and distance.
What had we agreed on before we left our apartment? Were we in concert about our location? Had we checked our schedules and communicated how much time we could spend together before it interfered with some other plans?
The problem, of course, is we hadn’t done any of this.
This is that age-old problem with couples who have been together for ages. You THINK you know what the other is thinking and somehow you think he’s thinking what you’re thinking. Spoiler Alert: He’s NEVER thinking what you’re thinking.
And because he has something entirely different in mind for the outing, that’s where the heated “discussions” start.
Now I’m going to assume, you guys out there are smarter than we are. You know the type of exercise you’ve both committed to. You know the pace. The before and after plans. One of you has remembered an umbrella just in case there’s a change in the weather and the other has the chilled water bottles.
But just in case in your relationship, you and your partner experience a little. . . friction as you break that sweat, here are a few tips we’ve learned over the years that are helping turn that friction into a fun outing.
1. START SMALL – If you’ve never exercised together, I would not suggest your first outing be a 5-mile hike in the Colorado foothills. I don’t know if I’d even start with a “teaching session.” One of you is a pickleball champion and the other has never picked up a paddle for instance. Might not be a good starting place. Maybe you start with a short stroll after dinner or possibly a little dance during a commercial break. Baby steps. Baby steps.
2. DECIDE ON A SCHEDULE and LOCATION – Of course, this is where we trip up time and again. Get clear on this with your partner or you’ll find yourself mumbling horrible things under your breath. And you’re better than that.
3. INDEPENDENT GOALS – it might be fun to set independent goals for the exercise session and share those goals with your partner. And if the goal is a competitive one, that shouldn’t be a problem. Nothing wrong with a little healthy competition. Tell us in the comments how that one works out for you.
4. SPECIAL TIME – I think it’s really cute to think of this time together as a little date. I have a friend who meets her boyfriend several mornings a week to do loops around the lake. You might take her lead, and make your time special by packing a little snack to share after the session or going for a sit-down coffee.
5. THIS ONE MIGHT BE A FUN IDEA – I’ve never done this before, but how about you and your partner joining a local couples group? The group dynamic might even make you and your partner more committed to regular exercise. But I’d pay attention to #1 on this list. Group/partner exercise might be an advanced activity.
So, there you have it.
We’d love to know about your experiences exercising with your partner. Is it a routine with you guys? Have you overcome some of the same problems that plagued my partner and me in the beginning? Do you have a funny story about couples exercise?
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