The first time I heard the phrase “Self-Care” was almost twenty years ago while sitting cross-legged on the carpeted floor, surrounded by ten of my favorite women-friends.
I was at my book group.
Typical of our group, the book we were reading was sitting on the floor beside me unopened. Like many book groups, we’d abandoned the book and were now deep in conversation. Those wonderful conversations only happen when a room feels safe, and friends are close.
During this conversation one of the women used the term “self-care.” I really didn’t know what it meant. But because the term was quickly followed by things that felt like a luxury to me, I didn’t give it much attention.
My friends seemed to be defining the phrase in reference to things I didn’t do. Like, long, soaking tub baths, covered in scented bubbles, sipping on a glass of wine. Or endless unhurried and relaxed get-aways on sunny Saturday afternoons without a care in the world or a time constraint.
My reality at this time was as a single mother to adolescent twin boys. I fed and kept a roof over the heads of those boys with a small, but crazy-busy bakery business.
My whole life at the time was determined by time constraints. Similarly, tub baths had been replaced by hot showers long ago if for no other reason than to corral the dreaded UTI.
So, where I thought, I liked the sound of the phrase, “Self-Care,” it was a hard NO in terms of adding it to my life. I’d stick with raising my boys, working like a crazy person at the bakery and occasionally on Friday nights, while the kids were asleep, watching a movie and munching on microwave popcorn. That was the extent of my self-care when viewed through my friend’s definition.
Fast forward to where I am now, the term “self-care” has a much richer meaning for me.
If social media is any indication, I think there are still many women who define “self-care” as complicated skin care routines, weekly manicures and monthly haircuts, and spa days complete with full-body massage.
And while body pampering is certainly a part of “self-care,” at least for me, it’s a small part of the overall concept of the term.
While I was doing my research for this blog post, I bumped into some very interesting information.
According to Vogue Magazine, the medical community took the lead with the term, “self-care” as early as the 1950s.
But it was the Black Panther Party that both popularized and politicized it in the US during the peak of the civil rights movement in the 60s.
The Center for Community Solutions goes on to say, “self-care” had very little to do with a soaking tub but more to do with self-empowerment to have the energy to continue to fight rampant social injustice.
Quoting from the article, some women leaders from the Civil Right era were engaged in self-care. Ericka Huggins and Angela Davis of the Black Panter Party used yoga, mindfulness, and meditation practices while incarcerated as a form of self-care. Rosa Parks practiced yoga for many years.
These women were activists and understood the importance of a strong body and a clear mind. Put simply, they took care of themselves and each other.
As I read through the various articles, there was a line that truly resonated with me with regards to “self-care:”
“Self-care” sustains us while we do the hard work.”
For certain, this is one way I define “self-care.”
Like you, I’m still a passionate contributor in this world. And to do the things I want to accomplish takes giving attention to my body and mind, while watching my stress and fatigue levels.
I attempt to take “radical responsibility.” It is my responsibility to find solutions in my life rather than look to someone or something to blame outside of me. That to me is “self-care” in action.
On the other hand, I like pampering as much as the next woman. I’m not big on spas but love a Sunday morning sleep-in, followed by going out for brunch. Adventures in travel, festivals and markets, or simply “dancing like nobody is watching” is “self-care” for me.
I’m conscious to make “self-care” a part of every facet of my life, including the health of my relationships; even my relationship to money.
I think The Institute of Health sums it up nicely:
“Self-care” is the ability to care for oneself through awareness, self-control, and self-reliance in order to achieve, maintain, or promote optimal health and well-being.
So, there you have it. Boy, this discussion really got “thoughtful” for me!
We’d love to hear your thoughts on “self-care.” Leave them in the comments below this blog.
And in the meantime, Happy New Year! Let’s expect happiness, health, success, and love in 2024!
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