This is my second time writing this blog post.
Somehow, I lost the first completed blog.
I research and write these blogs in Microsoft Word and once edited, I prepare to create the distributed blog with pictures and headers on the WIX platform.
Yesterday I was just about to transfer the Word document when I had a change of heart on the blog title and the blurbs for social media. I went back into my Word document and obviously touched the wrong button and lost (never to be retrieved) the entire document.
When these things happen many, many, many thoughts go through your head – none of which I’ll share here.
But somehow, after some time, my clearer head prevailed, and I realized there was only one solution to the problem. Open a fresh document and start the process all over again.
And so, here we are, starting all over again! THE BLOG
Looking for the Perfect Partner: Have your Priorities Shifted?
Even before I lost my work, this was not the easiest blog for me to write.
The blog centers on looking at our shifting priorities and perspectives as we age and how that shapes how we approach our relationships.
The values that once seemed important in our younger years may change as we gain wisdom and experience. The blog looks at the insights that now influence our expectations and desires.
After much thought, I realized why this was such a challenging topic for me.
I’ve been in two significant relationships in my life. My 17/18-year marriage (that produced my twin boys) and my current relationship that is still going strong after 30+ years.
If I focus on my current relationship against the backdrop of this blog's question, the question for me is almost irrelevant. It simply wouldn’t occur to me to ask if I’d do things differently.
It feels almost like a dangerous question for my relationship. It’s like a hazardous road full of blind curves and quick stops leading to nowhere good.
I think it’s all about asking a relationship that has served me well, and how I could improve it.
Do I wish some things were different? You bet ‘cha. But I still respect my partner, still find him interesting and funny, and love and care for him. I wouldn’t trade him in for a new model, that’s for sure.
So, personally, the answer to our blog question is even though I was forty when I met him and now with my current birthday just two days ago, I’m 72, I wouldn’t make any significant changes.
Beth on the other hand has a different story.
Beth tells me (and of course, I already know it, I’m her sister after all!) that she grew up firmly believing in the “white picket fence syndrome”
I’m sure most of you know what that means. Still, to make certain we stay on the same page, the white picket fence syndrome is defined as a state of mind where a person holds on to the idea of a perfect lifestyle, regardless of the inevitable life factors that make it impossible for it to be true.
You dream of a middle-class life with a consistently loving and caring husband, adorable. well-behaved children in a beautiful house in a safe neighborhood where nothing ever goes wrong.
It took her a while to realize this was indeed an idealized version of life.
As she continued to grow into her womanhood and experience different disappointing or at least complicated relationships, while taking care of her children, she was able to piece together what she valued in a relationship.
And what she realized is miles from the white picket fence.
The new, improved Beth knows she wants a man who lives his life with an abiding faith in God. He’s not fanatical, he likes to have fun, but he obeys the principles of a morally disciplined life. He’s also flexible and open to new ideas, believes in therapy to work out deep-seated problems, and is a life-long learner.
Simply put, she’s looking for a partnership.
So that’s Beth and me. What about you?
With shifting priorities, what would you do differently?
In our youth, we might have been drawn to superficial qualities. We may have prioritized physical attraction or the thrill of a man who was so different from us – that may have been exciting at the time.
However, as we mature, we come to appreciate deep emotional connection, shared understanding, and personal values as pillars of a fulfilling relationship.
This is such an important topic. We’d love to hear your thoughts. Share with us in the comments.
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