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The Eerie Episode



I’m a woman who frightens fairly easily.


I’m terrified of rainstorms. On the other hand, I remember as a girl our mother loved thunderstorms. Tree-splitting sounds that made our entire house feel like it was being lifted off the foundation, followed by light that lit up the night sky, seemed to really relax her.


While all this natural noise was raging outside, she’d curl up like a little girl on the carpeted living room floor and blissfully fall asleep.


I would curl up too. With my hands over my ears and my eyes squeezed shut to block out the scariness of it all.


On the other hand, I love spooky things.


I remember when Beth and I took a girl’s trip to Savannah.


Oh, I should mention, Beth has her own fears, (being out at night alone is a big one.)


And where I love spooky things, Beth HATES anything spooky.


Getting back to the Savannah story. We’d been having a great time, seeing the sights, munching on boiled peanuts, washing them down with mint juleps. But the trip would not have been complete for me without a visit to the cemeteries.


Beth was down for walking through the old graveyards. But I wanted to visit at dusk, which was a deal breaker for her. She would not hear of it. Waaayyy to creepy for her.


We finally compromised and walked through Bonaventure. . .during daylight! Which sounds more like Beth got her way, right?


But like I said, I love scary movies, haunted houses, cemeteries, and true crime. I’ll scream my head off through all of it, but love the feeling, the fun of fright, when I know there’s no real danger.


And now it’s October. The month of the spooky. Regardless of age, we get to dress in costume and eat miniature candy bars. Doesn’t get much better than that.


Beth may not be the biggest fan of Halloween but she’s willing to play along as we bring you the spooky, the scary, the frightening, the terrifying.


It’s all in good fun, right?? BOO!



We’re about to take a trip from the cute and funny (and kinda corny) to the super, duper creepy. Hold tight to your bowl of MONSTER MUNCH (a delicious blend of popcorn, peanut butter, candy corn and more!


Two children are home alone when suddenly the phone rings. A hoarse voice says: “I am the man with the bloody finger. In one hour, I will be at your place.”


The man keeps ringing the phone and comes closer and closer. The children get more and more scared.


Then the doorbell rings. Before the door stands a man. The children open the door, and he stretches out his bloody finger.


“I am the man with the bloody finger. Do you have a bandage for me?”


Two construction workers find a skeleton in a small closet behind an elevator. They turn the skeleton (fully dressed!) over to the police.


Some weeks later, they called the police to ask whom they found.


The police tell them: “The 1956 National Hide-and-seek Champion.”


Okay, now we move from "cute scary" to "scary scary"

My boyfriend and I bought a house.


He’s in charge of the “new” construction – converting the kitchen into the master bedroom, while I’m on wallpaper removal duty.


The previous owner papered EVERY wall and CEILING! Removing it is brutal, but oddly satisfying. The best feeling is getting a long peel, similar to your skin when you’re peeling from a sunburn. I make a game of peeling, on the hunt for the longest piece before it rips.


Under a corner section of paper in every room is a person’s name and a date.


Curiosity got the best of me one night when I Googled one of the names and discovered the person was actually a missing person, the missing date matching the date under the wallpaper!


The next day, I made a list of all the names and dates. Sure enough, each name was for a missing person with dates to match.


We notified the police who naturally sent out the crime scene team.


I overhead one tech say “yup, it’s human.”


Human? What’s human?


“Ma’am, where is the material you removed from the walls already? This isn’t wallpaper you were removing.”


And the last two spooky stories are the scariest of them all.

A father is putting his young son to bed.


“I begin tucking him into bed and he tells me, “Daddy, check for monsters under my bed.”


I look underneath for his amusement and see him, another him, under the bed, staring back at me quivering and whispering, “Daddy, there’s somebody on my bed.”


Short, but spooky, right??


And the last story. . .


“Last night a friend rushed me out of the house to catch the opening act at a local bar’s music night.


After a few drinks, I realized my phone wasn’t in my pocket. I checked the table we were sitting at, the bar, and the bathrooms, without any luck, I used my friend’s phone to call my phone.


After two rings someone answered, gave out a low raspy giggle, and hung up. They didn’t answer again.


I eventually gave it up as a lost cause and headed home.


I found my phone lying on my nightstand, right where I’d left it.


HAPPY HALLOWEEN from TwoWomen!





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